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I think that what you composed was actually very reasonable.
However, consider this, what if you were to write a awesome title?

I mean, I don't wish to tell you how to run your website, however what if you
added something to maybe get folk's attention? I mean The Best Vintage Clothing Stores is kinda
boring. You should glance at Yahoo's home page and note how they
write post titles to grab viewers to open the links.
You might try adding a video or a related picture or
two to grab people excited about what you've got
to say. In my opinion, it might bring your posts a little livelier.